I. Another Fine Myth
- "There are things on heaven and earth,
Horatio, Man was not meant to know"
- "Things are not always as they seem"
- "The only thing more reliable than magik is one's friends!"
- "Careful planning is the key to safe and swift travel"
- "Only constant and conscientious practice in the Martial Arts will ensure a long and happy life"
- "Attention to detail is the watchword for gleaning information from an unsuspecting witness"
- "Is there anything in the universe more beautiful and protective than the simple complexity of a spider's web?"
- "In times of crisis, it is of utmost importance not to lose one's head"
- "To function efficiently, any group of people or employees must have faith in their leader"
-Capt. Bligh (ret.)
- "Man shall never reach his full capacity while chained to the earth. We must take wing and conquer the heavens"
- "One of the joys of travel is visiting new towns and meeting new people"
- "First impressions are of major importance in business matters"
-J. Pierpoint Finch
- "The secret to winning the support of large groups of people is positive thinking"
- "A little help at the right time is better than a lot of help at the wrong time"
- "Anyone who uses the phrase 'easy as taking candy from a baby' has never tried taking candy from a baby"
- "Just because something doesn't do what you planned it to do doesn't mean it's useless"
- "The wonders of the ages assembled for your edification, education, and enjoyment - for a price"
- "No matter what the product or service might be, you can find it somewhere else cheaper!"
- "By persevering over all obstacles and distractions, one may unfailingly arrive at his chosen goal or destination"
- "With the proper consideration in choice of allies, victory may be guaranteed in any conflict"
- "One must deal openly and fairly with one's forces if maximum effectiveness is to be achieved"
- "This is another fine myth you've gotten me into!"
-Lor L. and Har D.
- "Since prehistoric man, no battle has ever gone as planned"
- "Ya gotta be subtle!"
- "Just because you've beaten a sorcerer, doesn't mean you've beaten a sorcerer"
- "A woman, like a good piece of music, should have a solid end"
II. Myth Conceptions
- "Life is a series of rude awakenings"
- "First impressions, being the longest lasting, are of utmost importance"
- "Ninety percent of any business transaction is selling yourself to the client"
- "If the proper preparations have been made and the necessary precautions taken, any staged event is guaranteed success"
-Ethelred the Unready
- "...Eye of newt, toe of frog..." -Believed to be the first recipe for an explosive mixture... The forerunner of gunpowder
- "That's entertainment!"
-Vlad the Impaler
- "Numerical superiority is of no consequence. In battle, victory will go to the best tactician"
- "Anything worth doing, is worth doing for a profit"
- "There is more at stake here than our lives"
-Col. Travis Alamo Pep Talk
- "One need not fear superior numbers if the opposing force has been properly scouted and appraised"
- "Should old acquaintance be forgot..."
-Count of Monte Cristo
- "This is no game for old men! Send in the boys!"
- "Hold the pickles, hold the lettuce"
- "We're looking for a few good men"
- "I'll worry about it tomorrow"
- "Myth-conceptions are the major cause of wars!"
- "Diplomacy is the delicate weapon of the civilized warrior"
- "Just before the battle, Mother, I was thinking mos of you..."
- "What if they gave a war and only one side came-"
- "Chain of command is the backbone of military structure and must be strictly obeyed"
- "It takes a giant to fight a giant"
- "Hell hath no fury like a demon scorched"
- "What is this, a Chinese fire drill?"
- "...and then I said to myself, 'Why should I split it two ways-'"
- "Is everybody happy?"
- "All's well that ends well"
III. Myth Directions
- "Dragons and Demons and Kings, Oh my!"
-The Cowardly Klahd
- "When old friends get together, everything else pales to insignificance"
-War, Famine, Pestilence and Death
- "That's funny, I never have any trouble with sevice when I'm shopping"
- "'Weird' is a relative, not an absolute term"
-Baron Frank N. Further
- "Nothing is impossible. Anything can be accomplished with proper preparations and planning"
-Ponce de Leon
- "Now you see it, now you don't"
- "A friend in need is a pest"
- "Once more into the breach..."
-Zarna, the Human Cannonball
- "War may be Hell... but it's good for business!"
-The Association for Merchants, Manufacturers, and Morticians
- "Old heroes never die; they reappear in sequels"
- "What do you mean, 'You've got a little job for me'?"
- "Out of the frying pan, into der fire"
-The Swedish Chief
- "If you can't dazzle them with dexterity, baffle them with bullshit!"
-Prof. H. Hill
- "As any magician will tell you - Myth Directions is the secret of a successful steal"
- "-Or was it unlock the safe then swim to the surface?"
- "...and then the fun began"
- "I'm sure we can talk things out like civilized people"
- "What's the point-spread on World War III?"
- "Why should I pay a troll just to cross a bridge?"
- "What are friends for?"
- "We've got an unbeatable team!"
- "No matter what the game, no matter what the rules, the same rules apply to both sides!"
- "Life is full of little surprises"
- "This contest has to be the dumbest thing I've ever seen"
- "If you can't win fair, just win!"
- "Winning isn't the most important thing; it's the only thing!"
- "Ask not for whom the bell tolls-"
IV. Hit or Myth
- "There's something to be said for relatives ...it has to be said because it's unprintable!"
- "When things are blackest, I just tell myself 'cheer up, things could be worse!' And sure enough, they get worse!"
- "Once a knight, always a knight,
But once a King is once too often!"
-Sir Bella of Eastmarch
- "Duty: a fee paid for transacting in good(s)"
-U.S. Dept. of Commerce
- "The only thing worse that a sorcerer is a sorcerer's apprentice"
- "Good information is hard to get. Doing anything with it is even harder!"
- "There is no counter for a spirited woman except spirited drink"
- "Choose your friends carefully. Your enemies will choose you!"
- "I don't know why anyone would be nervous about going to see royalty"
-P. in Boots
- "Superior firepower is an invaluable tool when entering into negotiations"
- "Tell you what. Let me sweeten the deal a bit for you..."
- "I'm making this up as I go along!"
- "Marriage, being a lifelong venture, must be approached with care and caution"
- "Some farewells are easier than others"
- "In a war against organized crime, survival is a hit or myth proposition"
- "It's always easier to destroy than to create"
-Any general, any army, any age
- "The best laid plans often go fowl"
-Wile E. Coyote
- "Life can be profitable, if you know the odds"
- "These blokes need to be taught to respect their superiors"
- "Figure the last thing you would expect the enemy to do, then count on him doing precisely that!"
- "Stayin' alive! Stayin' alive!"
V. Myth-ing Persons
- "Reputations are fine up to a point. After that they become a pain!"
- "Success often hinges on choosing a reliable partner."
- "Reliable information is a must for successful planning."
- "It's useless to try to plan for the unexpected ... by definition!"
- "To survive, one must be able to adapt to changing situations."
- "An agent is a vampire with a telephone!"
- "I don't see anything thrilling about it!""
- "First, let's decide who's leading and who's following."
- "My colleagues and I feel that independents like ElfQuest are nothing but sheep in wolves' clothing!"
- "What's wrong with a little harmless crime once in a while?"
- "Nice jail. Looks strong.'
- "For the right person, the impossible is easy!"
- "I've never seen so damn many Indians."
G. A. CUSTER
- "Relax, Julie. Everyone will understand."
- "Everybody needs a career manager!"
- "Don't be fooled by appearances."
- "The trail's got to be 'round here somewhere!"
- "I didn't come all this way to sit out the fight!"
- "All right, pilgrim. This is between you and me!"
- "There's no accounting for taste!"
VI. Little Myth-Marker
- "The difference between an inside straight and a blamed fool is callin' the last bet!"
- "Kids? Who said anything about kids?"
- "I'm doing this for your own good!"
ANY ESTABLISHMENT EXECUTIONER... OR ANY PARENT
- "A doll is a doll is a doll."
- "Such stuff dreams are made of."
- "Bring the whole family... but leave the kids at home!"
- "There's a time to fight, and a time to hide out!"
- "What did I do wrong?"
- "They never let you live it down. One little mistake!"
- "A spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down!"
- "I believe we're under attack."
- "No one should hide their true self behind a false face."
- "Your Majesty should pay attention to his appearance."
H. C. ANDERSON
- "Sometimes luck isn't enough."
- "I need all the friends I can get."
- "I thought we were friends!"
- "Shut up and deal!"
- "Cast your fate to the winds."
- "Can't you take a joke?"
- "So what else is new?"
VII. M.Y.T.H. Inc. Link
- "Petty crime is the scourge of business today"
- "It all hinges on your definition of 'a good time'!"
- "It's all a matter of taste"
- "If you're too busy to help your friends, you're too busy!"
- "What fools these mortals be"
- "Not everything in life is funny"
VIII. Myth-Nomers and Im-pervections
- "Nobody's seen it all!"
- "They don't make 'em like they used to!"
- "It's not even a nice place to visit!"
-Fodor's Guide To Perv
- "Taxis are water soluble"
- "I just need to pick up a few things"
- "There's no place like home!"
- "...On the street where you live"
-Quote from an anonymous extortion note
- "There's never a cop around when you need one!"
- "...You gotta start somewhere"
- "All financiers are not created equal!"
- "How come I get all the hard questions?"
- "HOLY BATSHIT, FATMAN! I mean..."
- "Who? Me, Officer?"
- "Parting is such sweet sorrow"
- "Easy credit terms available..."
- "You can judge the success of a man by his bodyguards!"
- "Bibbity... bobbity..."
-S. Strange, M.D.
- "'M' is for many things she taught me..."
- "I am not a crook!"
- "Were you looking for me?"
IX. M.Y.T.H. Inc. In Action
- "What am I doing here?"
-Any recruit, any army
- "What do you mean my characters talk funny?"
- "We want to make you feel at home!"
- "Just a little off the top!"
- "Squeeze, don't jerk, the trigger"
- "When I travel, nobody knows me...
and I like it that way!"
- "Boards don't hit back!"
- "To Serve and Protect..."
-Traditional motto of protection rackets
- "It takes one to know one!"
-Jack D. Ripper
- "Manners are acquired, not inherited!"
- "Now, here's my plan!"
- "That's why the lady is a tramp!"
- "It sure looks to me like a big night tonight!"
- "Weren't you expecting me?"
- "You countermanded me on whose authority?"
- "An army travels on its paperwork!"
- "So what's wrong with following established procedures?"
- "Ya gotta speak the language"
- "Has anybody got a plan?"
- "We must hurry... It's almost over!"
- "I want a rematch!"